


I fell in love with you because you loved me when I couldn’t love myself

by rayrayswimusic



Series: Event Fics [12]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: <33333, F/M, for the mlsecretsanta, for winter-and-little-brunettes, happy holidays!, my usual angst then happy ending!, random powers i wanted to use??!??!, sads then happy :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-11 17:59:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9000844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayrayswimusic/pseuds/rayrayswimusic
Summary: Finding the 'what-if's of a relationship is painful, yet also it can be beautiful. Finding the love you need to stay afloat, the love to love yourself. To never leave one another, is truly a beautiful thing.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WinterAndLittleBrunettes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterAndLittleBrunettes/gifts).



> Happy Holidays! Hope you enjoy :)

Soft smiles, wide grins. Friendly nudges, sneaked kisses. She could enjoy them all now, both their secrets out in the open. She could snuggle into his arms, carefree and happy. She no longer felt the unease that had clung to their relationship for many a month. Instead, there was only happiness.

But even then, lingering doubts littered Marinette's mind, asking why he, Adrien Agreste,  _ Chat Noir _ , would want to be with her. And though she would try her best to squash these thoughts, they were still there. She tried to hide these feelings, but Adrien seemed to see through all her lies. But it wasn’t as if her nightly Chat-Marinette sessions ended after finding out each other’s secret identities.

There were many days where Marinette came home, to her room, only to find her well-loved leather clad superhero lounging on her bed, trying to destroy mega-monsters on her video games console. Grinning, she’d sneak up behind him, tackling him into the bed before stealing his controller and win the game. 

However, today Marinette wasn’t in the mood for that. She wasn’t able to hide her sadness, worries, or fears from him. Instead, when she jumped on him, he just rolled over, trapping her into the mattress. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to her left cheek, then her right one. Pulling back, he smiled, “Princess, I know something has been bothering you for the past few weeks.” Getting off her, he sat up on the bed, “I don’t know why you haven’t spoken to me, but I’m always here for you Marinette. What’s wrong?”

She could see the worry in his eyes and was about to brush it off, raising a hand to push him off her, but instead, she was forced to freeze when he shook his head. “No, Marinette, don’t shut me out. I’ve let you do this for weeks now, no longer.” He rested a hand on her cheek, forcing her eyes towards his mask-covered face. “ _ Tell me _ .”

Frowning deeply, Marinette struggled to come up with a way to distract him from the topic, but knew that there was nothing she could do or say to dissuade Chat. But, there was one thing that might be able to make him focus on something else.

“As Ladybug, my powers have continued to grow, even after so many years. Tikki told me about my newest power recently, however she said that due to my suit, the only way I'd end up using it would be as Marinette.” She could see the confusion in his eyes, but refused to explain.

If she was right about what this power would show, she didn't want to see him refuse, she didn't want to watch him try and protect her—from herself. Lifting a hand up, she rested it lightly on his cheek, and then closed her eyes. For all sake and purposes she looked asleep, however her light breathing, and the concentrated look on her face gave her awareness away.

She sunk into her subconscious, feeling the slight tug of a mental rope pulling her towards Chat. Following the string, she could feel one end connect to his body, but could also feel multiple threads branch off it. Grabbing tightly onto one of the branches, she felt herself be pulled into the memory.

She watched as Chat Noir leapt around buildings, chasing after an akuma. She couldn't see much of a difference till she noticed two things: she  _ wasn't _ there, and Chat was  _ destroying _ the akumas after they were released. He looked much older, much sadder, and very much alone. However, her shock of Ladybug not existing— Marinette Dupain-Cheng not existing — had addled her brain. 

She continued watching as Chat received accolades for his work, before transforming into Adrien once again to receive praise for his job as a model. Her heart swelled with joy when she saw that his father was much kinder to the lonely boy, but also broke when Marinette realized that  _ her _ Adrien would never have the tender hug and shoulder rub that this version did. 

Tears sprung into her eyes as she watched Lila jump into his arms, the extremely beautiful couple even having Chloe’s apparent approval. She could see that no one missed her, or even seemed out of place without her. As tears began to stream faster down her face, Marinette choked back loud sobs, though her concentration had completely broken. 

She could feel Chat shaking her shoulders, trying to wake her from her trance, but when she finally  _ came to,  _ her heart broke again. Neither Adrien nor Chat needed her. If she wasn't there, she was sure that he'd be happier. Heart-wrenching sobs racked her lithe body, her hands futilely trying to shove Chat off her. He did move away, but only enough to scoop her close to his chest and tuck her under his chin,

“I don't know what happened Marinette, but I promise I'm here for you if you need me.  **No matter what** .” She stiffened at his words, knowing that he truly wouldn't leave her, even if it was better he did. 

Turning around in his hold, she hit his chest lightly with her clenched fists, “no, you need to leave me. I'm not good for you, I'll just hold you back even if you want to stay. Go...” she cried silently now, soft hiccups interrupting her tears, “just go Chat, Adrien, being with me will just hurt you.”

She felt his grip on her waist loosen, catching her heart in her throat as she thought he truly was leaving. However, instead he just lifted his hand and placed a few of the leather-clad claws under her chin, tilting her head towards his.

“Marinette, I don't think you understand. I have no idea what you saw, but for me, the last few years have been the best in my entire life.” His eyes watered as he spoke though the weak smile never left. “I met my best friend the day I got this ring, and I met my love that same day. And when I finally came to school, I met her again, and though we didn't know, we orbited each other for years.”

He smiled softly, stroking her cheek as he brushed the remnants of her tears away. “I'm not going to abandon the girl who saved my life so many times, both in the suit and not, even when she didn't have to; I'm not going to abandon the girl who saved me from myself. And most of all, I'm not going to abandon the girl that made me,” he chuckled lightly, “ _ me _ .”

Fresh tears began spilling down her cheeks, her heart bursting at the beautiful confession, though she found that even after that there were still lingering doubts clouding her mind. “My power is now the ability to see the changes in people's lives if one thing had changed,” she glanced away from his face, feeling the pain build again.

But he wouldn't let her, for Chat’s hands quickly turned her head back towards him. “And? What did you see Marinette?” He placed a chaste kiss to her forehead.

“I didn't exist, that was the change.” She heard rather than saw his shock since her eyes had strayed away again, but she continued on, her voice changing from slightly hysterical to unfeeling as she tried to convey the story without breaking down again. “And you were  _ so happy _ . Chat Noir was never ignored, the people of Paris loved you even more for you were the sole superhero. But your life as Adrien had changed as well. Your father openly expressed his love for you,” her hand grasped his tightly at that, knowing his biggest wish was for his father to acknowledge him more.

“You were a sensational model, even there, but you embraced the fame, even dating Lila. You were happy, Adrien, so,  _ so _ happy. If I'm not here to bother you, then I can help make that happiness a reality!” Her eyes burned bright at the thought of Adrien being happier. She knew that his life now wasn't horrible, but for her, his happiness was paramount even if that meant she wasn’t there. 

But instead of nodding at her words, or even disagree, she watched as Chat began to laugh, loud and clearly amused. Sobering up, he smiled dangerously, all his teeth displayed in a terrifyingly cat-like expression. “Marinette, you missed something” — he let his transformation go, shaking the mop of Chat’s hair back into the styled position of Adrien — “The  _ me _ in that universe can only be happy if I'm complete. I'd like to think I know myself well enough, and I know that no matter what, I'd never be happier then in one place.”

He grinned, his smile easily reminiscent of Chat’s, as he swiftly pulled Marinette closer towards him, and snuggled her close to his chest. “And that, is with  _ you _ , and no matter what my other self may act like, he will never be happy without the one person who completes him.”

She smiled weakly up at him, slowly starting to accept that Adrien and Chat, they both wanted her as she was, not as a snobby rich kid, or even a cultured foreign student, but as clumsy Marinette  _ and _ as heroic Ladybug. She pressed a happy kiss against his chin before snuggling into his arms more, letting her eyes droop as she allowed the exhaustion of crying and Adrien’s soothing presence to lull her to sleep.

As she dreamt, she saw the Adrien from her vision sit down and cry, for he truly was alone, unlike what she had assumed, till a short figure ran into the room. She couldn't see the person’s face, but the clothes and pigtails were unmistakable.

She smiled in her sleep, and asleep though he was, Adrien smiled back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Come bug me on my tumblr :)
> 
>  
> 
> [@main](http://rayrayswimusic.tumblr.com)  
> [@writing](http://rayraywrites.tumblr.com)


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